My son attended this last year. He's a chap of the highest order, as evidenced by the photo I put on the Redditch thread. He also subscribes to the magazine.

Like me, he feels that we've generally lost the sense of true Britishness that being a chap typifies. We understand that living in the past isn't an option, but it's nice to pretend from time to time.

Everybody at the Olympiad is off their face by 9.00.

Paul Dean
Crimson Leaf
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What a splendid site. Although I am now rather overtaken by an urge to take up pipe smoking.

 I can lend you some tobacco. Pipe smoking engenders one with a tremendous sense of chappness.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

I like this, always been a bit of a cad [sorry, lad] {cough!} and love the way they dress and behave. Shoes are wrong though.. /justsaying

I'd like to be a chap, and would very much like a pipe.....

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

Would you care to accompany me to a pipe emporium tomorrow Richie? There must be one in Brum somewhere?

I'm not even kidding. Pipe smoking suddenly seems like the best idea ever.

I am liking this response!!!

Karen OrangeTree
OrangeTree Development

I should really go with Danny and Richard, and offer advice. This is just properly good. Plus I could purchase a new one.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

It all seems rather technical. I prefer the look of the curved pipes but apparently they are more difficult for a novice to "keep under control".

What?

I have straight pipes. I suspect it is more a question of opinion on the control issue, however.

There are some bits that are of value. Bowl sizes vary greatly. Too small is a lot of hassle, too large can be overwhelming, as walking around with a house fire on a stick in your mouth is, well, actually hard to control. Plus you have been smoking for a whole hour when it finishes.

Tobacco choices are important. Specialist tobaccos really do pay dividends both in taste and result. Most pipe tobaccos sold by, say, the rather angry lady at Tesco's tobacco counter, are really dust. You light them, a flame touches the ceiling, and it is over.

You need to visit somewhere like this.

Or discuss the matter with Monsieur le Dino, another chap of this parish.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

My Uncle smokes a pipe and quite often sets his jacket pocket on fire............

Bruce
Lantern Photography
Ring today on 01793 230 511

 I have an infallible way of stopping that.

I do not wear a jacket.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

Hexham is quite a long way away from me. I need to find a similar establishment in the midlands region I think.

These shops are awesome, and exist everywhere, in odd little towns.

They always sell sweets in jars and walking sticks, as well.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

 But he is a chap, therefore wears a jacket.

Plus, if it's no his jacket pockets it's his trouser pockets

Bruce
Lantern Photography
Ring today on 01793 230 511

 I surrender to this line of reasoning. It is entirely without flaw.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

I want to be like this, then I could pretend to be Sherlock Holmes.

Credit-Manager.Net

I can remember working with someone who smoked a pipe - I could always tell when he was in his office because I couldn't see through the door window because of the clouds of smoke.

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

Hollingsworth's appears to fit the bill. A trip into town tomorrow may be on the cards

This is awesome on the scale of highest awesomeness.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

Danny - you could stop off in Selly Oak to try one of the shisha joints where they bubble apple flavoured baccy (not that I have tried it).

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

 The shop at Hexham also sell the apparatus for this.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

Brilliant - Mr R is convincing me to dress 1950s and go to the Goodwood Revival - this looks like more fun though.

Shame I am not a bloke, as I would love to dress like this for a laugh, but then I have enjoyed the odd cigar and I have been the honorary man at many events. Yes I know wierdo.

Vicky Oaktree Robinson
Entertaining Acorns
Childrens Entertainer

I collect and refurbish pipes if anyone wants to buy one. I also smoke them relentlessly. I currently have about 50.

I also buy my tobacco from the states where it's at least half price. Again, see me for details.

Pipe smoking is a proper chap's hobby. And lung cancer-free as one doesn't inhale. however, there is something strangely attractive about female pipe-smoking Goths, but that might be just a personal thing. I like Goth birds.

And yes Les - the chap should be wearing tan brogues, or possibly Oxfords.

Paul Dean
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I'm quite keen for my first pipe to be new and completely chosen by me if you catch my drift. But if it turns out to be more than a fad then maybe we can talk about bolstering my collection.

4NX10 pipe smoke off?

Bruce
Lantern Photography
Ring today on 01793 230 511

 This must happen.

I shall consult with the chaps.

I am in awe of Le Dino's collection of pipes and intend to go and see them.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

The only thing good about pipes is pipe cleaners which can be used for all sorts of other things.

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

Good move.

Names to watch out for are Peterson and Stanwell. Both do good pipes for not a lot. Cheaper still are Dr Grabows which will be fine for a beginner. Never buy anything made in China.

Paul Dean
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 For those ladies who didn't want to excite Mr Dean by smoking a pipe there were other activities, like dry martini drinking

And the, fun for everyone, cucumber sandwich discus

This really does look like an event GOYA folk should be at!

Karen OrangeTree
OrangeTree Development

Chap Dean is right about the pipe brands. Mine are all Peterson.

And Mrs OrangeTree's suggestion for the GOYA convention is looking promising too.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

I discovered on t'internet, pipes designed by porsche. They seemed to me over designed and vulgar (as well as bloody expensive)

Look. Ghastly!

This one would suit me well, going with the cafe culture I'm so loving adopting.

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

I can also see you with a ridiculously long stemmed church warden type pipe too Richie.

I'd be happy to give it a go......

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

Ricardo is in. We have a gang going now. Cliques rule.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

a little bit of damage, but could be a talking point at meetings:

Credit-Manager.Net

That just seems wrong.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

I would like to own a pipe for such events but would porbably only bite on the end for effect - I feel that the smoking part for me is quite extraneous. If I wanted to have a smoke a Cuban Cigar is the best way forward.

I'm very shallow and all about the look allegedly

David McGarry
Robinsons International Removals Ltd

Mrs O - I would rather drink martinis and tea in proper china cups...although I am not sure if I can remember how to lindy hop.

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

I do love the visual impact of a big cigar...

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

 The choice is made. It's a little bold, of French design and manufacture. I give you the Butz Choquin Nocturne. Hopefully stylish, without being so decadent and ostentatious that it offends the senior pipe smokers of the parish.

Also, it goes with my glasses.

Good choice, Danny. It does look the part.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

I have to say, I'm very happy at the way that photo came out. I wonder if any pipe modelling agencies would be interested in using me.

Its a good picture, actually. It could end up as a profile picture, particularly as I am currently working on the staff pics for the OTD site!

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

I like it - excellent choice.

I also like your very fetching baseball cap stand - form and function

David McGarry
Robinsons International Removals Ltd

Superb! Love it......

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

 Danny - excellent choice and one which seems to suit you. Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Briar. (Yes, it really is described thus).

When you get to collecting them you may end up with something like this:

It is an 1879 hand-carved cherrywood Peterson. I was offered £1,200 for it two years ago. Of course I had a decent job then (in financial terms anyway) so I turned the offer down. You can have it for £1,400 cash.

Paul Dean
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DMcG, The hatstand is actually a magnifying glass. (Except it's made of plastic - does that make it a magnifying plastic?). On reflection I maybe don't need that many baseball caps. But I was moving to America at one point which goes some way to explaining them.

Richie, yes. I partook in a third of a bowl of a blend called black and brown tweed. It took me about an hour and a half. There's a knack to it you see. Which I don't have.

Dino, very nice. I'll take two.

Splendid! Pipes rock.....

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

How many hours did you spend in Hollingsworth's then Danny?

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

Not that long really. That pipe called to me as soon as I started browsing but I made a bit of a show of it nonetheless. I eschewed the cheap beginner's efforts initially proffered to me.

So then it was simply a matter of sniffing some suggested tobaccos, picking a couple to try, grabbing a lighter and a 3 way pipe tool and being on my merry way.

To be honest, although the staff were pleasant and very helpful and the shop well enough stocked, it didn't have the air of gravitas that I'd hoped for. It was properly lit and had been repainted sometime since the war. Stuff like that. They very much did the job though.

Danny



that is all!

Karen OrangeTree
OrangeTree Development

Splendid dear chap.. toodlepip, I must be off.

Credit-Manager.Net

I must try this one day.......

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

F5

I say old bean, this GOYA 4NX10 smoke off seems to be taking off. I shall start research forthwith into my own pipe purchase.

Bruce
Lantern Photography
Ring today on 01793 230 511

Brilliant!!

Karen OrangeTree
OrangeTree Development

I'm going to have to have a trial at some point. I might ask Danny if I can have a suck on his pipe sometime.

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

oh dear

Karen OrangeTree
OrangeTree Development

I think I may start using the word Toodlepip more, is that acceptable for use by a chap?

Bruce
Lantern Photography
Ring today on 01793 230 511

 It is a good choice of phrase, along with 'fare thee well', and 'whatho old bean'.

I think, alongside w00t, we should have an anti-w00t section of blatant chapping.

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

You mean a place where a chap can go just to be a jolly decent fellow? Top hole, and just what the doctor ordered, what?

We could exchange photographs of our new pipes and show off our sartorial style. We could even have a section on hats!

By the bye, I've been having a closer look at the chap in the original post and decided he is lacking chapness on several fronts. Firstly he is sporting a large pair of highly inelegant side whiskers, known colloquially as "mutton chops". Facial hair is never to be encouraged in such a working class style, if at all. His boots too are working class, and as I've commented before should ideally be a brogue or Oxford pattern shoe in tan or dark brown. His pocket handkerchief clashes with his tie, and ideally should be of the same silk; cotton will not do. As if that was not enough he is carrying both a cane and a gamp. No doubt he looks like an explorer when walking along the Strand. And the brim of his hat seems too wide for a jacket alone. I would suggest a narrow-brimmed Trilby for wearing without an overcoat or (God forbid) a Macintosh. Lastly, and unforgivably, he appears to have some sort of warning sign or advertisement adhered to the side of his briefcase, which probably says "I am truly working class and wish I were a real chap".

Some people...

Paul Dean
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 I have a spotty dress... however following an incident at 15 involving martini on chips... you did read correctly... can't abide the stuff...

Speaking as someone who drank two bottles of Dubonet at a party once when a youth I think I understand...

Paul Dean
Crimson Leaf
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Piping seemed to go rather better this evening after some experimentation. I was wondering though, how often am I supposed to do this, as I've never actually liked smoking.

I smoke about 5 bowls a day, and each bowl lasts about an hour. However, I do not smoke a pipe at weekends unless I go into my den, where I have a special dispensation.

Exhaling smoke through the nose very gently enables one to get the best of the baccy's flavours, most of us find.

Paul Dean
Crimson Leaf
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I manage slightly fewer than Chap Dean, but go for one pipe at the close of business, and another later in the evening. 

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

I gave up smoking in 1980 from 60 a day down to zero. At this time my peterson pipe rack was removed to the cupboard from the mantlepiece and thence when we moved house to the bin. [nobody likes used pipes].

You don't inhale the smoke from a pipe?

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

Mr Dean

and in those days I inhaled everything - including woodsmoke when I was running a bonfire. As a lad I made cigarettes out my Dad's old baccy from his Rothmans of PallMall untipped and newspaper.... I had strong lungs....

 This Lady is Fleur de Guerre,

Among many things we have her 2011 Calender, which I bought Mr R as part of his birthday present this year.

We may go to the Goodwood Revivial and Mr R has been looking for suitable attire for himself. He has already started buying me steampunk and 1940's dresses.

I am certain we will be throwing cucumber sandwiches next year, If anyone else is up for it, it could be a good day out.

Weird coincidence this thread and the fact Mr R is really getting into this stuff at the moment. I think I will be the pipe smoker of the house though although I have seen him partake in the occassional cigar.

Vicky Oaktree Robinson
Entertaining Acorns
Childrens Entertainer

A GOYA outing to next year's olympiad does seem like an excellent plan.

Let's do it.

Paul Dean
Crimson Leaf
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 I've been trying to explain this to my missus but it's like pushing soup uphill.

The object of pipe smoking is to savour the tobacco taste. If you inhale (and I used to, so I know) you get that flat, faggy, stale taste in your mouth when it comes back.

With pipes, gently rolling the smoke around in your mouth then gently exhaling through the nose activates the olfactory sensors at the back nasal cavity.

It's much like drinking coffee, except blowing coffee out through your nose doesn't add to the experience in a positive way. So it's nothing like drinking coffee.

What I mean is, I have never met anyone who liked coffee the first time they tried it. It's an acquired taste. Tobacco needs perseverance, but the rewards are great. Inhaling makes pipe tobacco taste like fags. Not good.

Paul Dean
Crimson Leaf
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 Or perhaps we should attend the 4NX10 at our own little Goya table (as suggested elsewhere) all dressed as chaps and chap-esses?

David McGarry
Robinsons International Removals Ltd

 Or Both :)

Vicky Oaktree Robinson
Entertaining Acorns
Childrens Entertainer

I like the GOYA chaps thing at the 4N party too. People with think we're nucking futz.

Paul Dean
Crimson Leaf
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Oh cool, I can then wear my silk dress and can sort out some 1920's style shoes or I may just speak nicely to Rachel Simpson and buy a pair of her vintage style shoes.

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

In an interesting twist, Ferrari are now extremely chappish according to the Daily Mash.

CAR-pointing experts Ferrari have caused uproar by replacing their driving team with two excessively polite gentlemen from the 1820s. Sir Hector paid tribute to his favourite hat The drivers were spotted before the race complimenting fellow competitors on the exquisite lining of their jumpsuits and sampling a range of delicate amontillados. Stewards also had to repeatedly warn the pair against smoking their briar pipes in the pit lane during refuelling. F1 supremette Bernie Ecclestone said: "We had to fine the team £100,000 after they held up the race by stopping to pick violets by the trackside and compose a sonnet about them." Regular drivers Felipe Massa and Fernando Alonso were dropped by Ferrari after a blood test revealed that neither were related to the Duke of Devonshire or his charming wife Charlotte. They were replaced by Sir Hector De Montford and his friend Algernon Twisset, who had been summering in Geneva as part of Sir Hector's rest cure after coming over all unnecessary during a performance of the Magic Flute at Covent Garden. De Montford said: "Algie and I were most delighted to be chosen for this venture into expediated perambulation. "We have been working like the very devil to choose just the right hat." He added: "When I saw Algie whizzing up behind me, I did the decent thing by giving him a wide berth. He's a gutty lad but his whip arm can be all over the place when he's at full gallop." A recording of the Ferrari team radio transmissions has revealed that as Twisset passed De Montford he said 'lovely day' to which De Montford replied, 'sir, it is indeed the loveliest of days'. Meanwhile De Montford is now expected to mortally wound McLaren's Lewis Hamilton in St James's Park shortly after dawn tomorrow morning.

 Erm...if you don't like smoking then don't smoke just sit there posing with your pipe that way you don't need to partake of the evil weed.

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

I am not sure the cut of that suit is entirely flattering ... I suspect it wouldn't be a good move for the OrangeTree uniform.

Karen OrangeTree
OrangeTree Development

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

I doubt I shall ever hear F1 more brilliantly described than a "venture into expediated perambulation".

Or Ferrari more apty described than as car pointing experts

Paul Norman
OrangeTree Development
SoleHeaven

 two new applicants for the chaps team I think ...

Karen OrangeTree
OrangeTree Development

Your suggestion is noted Les. I volunteer to carry out the extensive interviews to make sure she is suitable.

Same here....

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

Does this qualify yet as the most random thread on here? It started almost a week ago with K-Lo posting about people in tweed throwing cucumber sandwiches about, wandered off into pipe smoking for a good while, has ferarri mocking and puppies in top hats and bow ties, and now, nearing the 100 post mark, Richie and I are salivating over a charming young strumpet preparing for a bit of light can-canning.

Brilliant!

All you need to remember Danny is that Fernando is faster than you!

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

I like Can-Canning strumpets......Bring her to me immediately.

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

 Would you know what to do with her...?

I need a new can-can strumpet - the one I have is full...

Paul Dean
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 I've read books......

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

 Strumpeting for Dumbies is a best seller at Waterstones.

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

Read it. Didn't have any popups though which was unfortunate.

Richard Heathcote
Voice Over Artist & Audio Marketing | Get Your Business Heard! (from £55 p/month)

You need to get yourself over to Strumpets-R-Us, they have a splendid selection at reasonable prices.

Credit-Manager.Net

 S red hot on theory but lacking in practise... not sure they have positions for strumpet assistants... but stranger things have happened

Thought that I would share a link to my favourite website and I admit to buying items from there a few years' ago when I went to a fancy dress party (the outerwear, underwear, shoes etc were all 1940's because if the job fancy dress party was worth doing it was worth doing well).  So chaps enjoy www.whatkatydid.com

Denise
Meredith
Sponsalis

 If you are Can-Canning Strumpets and it doesn't have any pop-ups than you need to see the doctor (or make another life choice!)

David McGarry
Robinsons International Removals Ltd